I got chris browned last night
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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