New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
