i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
