So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
