He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
