Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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