this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
