i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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