i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you traded sex for a burrito?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
