you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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