Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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