how can u be prego again
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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