I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
