Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
