i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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