How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
