i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
im holly from the hills drunk
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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