Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
