It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
