So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize