So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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