also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
