I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
