i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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