so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
