All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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