Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
time to smoke my breakfast
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize