Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
