its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize