well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
