I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Too much gin, very little bucket
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
