i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She told me I should be a condom model.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
