How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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