I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize