apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I look better un-naked...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
