Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
bring money and cleavage
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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