shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
