Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
