It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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