she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
