no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
