Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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