You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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