I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
