her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
