bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
