Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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