It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize