As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
