A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
