Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
