he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
