It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
