So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
