cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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