i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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