how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
