I hope mine doesn't look like that
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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