she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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