I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
