Screwed.edu
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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