what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
