i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
