You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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