She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You need a sexual gate keeper
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
