If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize