apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
