He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he's gonorrhea incarnate
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I would fuck him just for his dog
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
