alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
