My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
