How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize